Thank you for reading this

…so, when I wrote that last post, I had no idea how little time Doc had left. I thought we’d have him through Christmas and maybe into 2011 but he had other plans. The next day, after our morning constitutional (in which he was okay), we came home, he grabbed his favorite stuffed animal, got into bed, and started to die.

It is hard to write about. So I will share with you the email I sent my friends and family. And, by the way,  I’m sure an email to your friends about how your dog died is inappropriate but was not really sure what else to do. Speaking of inappropriate, I asked the vet receptionist if we tipped the vet and his assistant when he came to our house to put down Doc and take him away…..THAT was embarrassing (don’t tell Nat I asked them that. I mean, it’s NEW YORK. We tip everyone!). Anyway, the note below:

Right before I left for work, he just seemed strange. His face and neck had been swollen for a while due to fluid retention due to his heart disease and it was really bothering him so I figured I should hang out with him for a while to make sure he was okay. Then, I realized he wasn’t and called Nat to come home and emailed work that I would be late. I moved him to his orthopedic bed and made him more comfortable so he could sleep. At this point, I honestly just figured Nat would tell me that I was being DRAMATIC as usual and that Doc was fine but he’d take him to the vet as a precaution and I’d go into the office. So I was just doing Metro work on the floor on my lap top next to him and petting him (I was even GChating with Trish) but when Nat came home, he didn’t even lift his head to greet him and we just knew then that it was over. It was just so weird; he just started dying. So I called to see if the vet could come to our apt instead of us having to go there and they did and they were great and wonderful. And it was just so, so, so, so, so sad. Did I mention how sad it was? It was SO SAD. And it’s doubly sad because Nat is SO SAD and it’s really like a part of him died as those two were such a team; I think I’m more sad about Nat being sad that I am about Doc, if that makes sense. But back to me — I’m doing well. To tell you the truth, it was the worst but it’s almost a relief as the past 6 months I’ve been more of a nurse to Doc than an owner and I kept worrying that I would injure a front leg and we’d have to put him down when he wasn’t ready since he was always such a fighter. But it was honestly kind of a good way to go. He was home and sleeping already, we didn’t have to do any kind of crazy expensive life saving procedure at the vet, and we were there with him. And, as we all know, when the time comes, there are lots and lots of dogs out there who really, really need a nice, awkwardly tall couple to love them.

And right now I’m trying to clean the house of any Doc stuff as yesterday, after he was taken away, I saw one of his booties and starting wailing like one of those Egyptian funeral women you see on the National Geographic channel. But today I’m much better. I’m just trying to take care of Nat (I will say I’m rather proud of myself. I really stepped up and handled everything yesterday as Nat wasn’t able to and it felt good to be able to do that for both of them).

Postscript:

It’s been about a week and a half since Doc died and Nat and I are doing fine. I do get sad when we come home to an empty apartment and we miss him terribly but I must say that all of the outpouring of love from our friends and family have been awesome in the truest sense of the word. We had over 100 emails, Facebook messages, calls, letters. My amazing old boss donated a tree in Israel in his name, a coworker in Philly made a donation in his name to a shelter, etc. Having such kind and wonderful friends in our lives who truly, TRULY loved Doc (even though he probably pooped on or around them at some time or another) made such a hard time so much easier. And not one person said, “Well, it was time, wasn’t it?” As anyone who has a beloved animal in their lives — it is NEVER time. It will always be sad and awful. So if you’re out there reading this, thank you.

And, despite my fears, Nat and I are stronger and better than ever. We’re even enjoying our “empty nest” and are making plans for weekends and nights out which we couldn’t do before. Not that Doc was ever a burden but it is nice to act young right now, if you can understand that.