Thank you for reading this

I’m a complainer. I always can find something to complain about (especially work). But that doesn’t mean I’m dour or a caustic person. Nat said the other night how nice it was to have such a happy wife, and that pleased me because I worry that I’m not as upbeat as he is. You have to understand that Nat is one of the nicest, most genuine people in the entire world. When we first started dating, I was always curious about his lack of angst; it was so foreign to me. And I’m not just saying that as his wife. Talk to everyone and they will agree: Nat Scott is a nice, happy person. 

What a weirdo. 

I’ve been trying to be very grateful and happy about this whole pregnancy, like Nat is, because I think that’s healthy for me and the wee one and also because I am grateful. When I take stock in my life, I know I have a wonderful, doting husband, a job that lets me be creative and gives me health insurance, a nice dog, and a caring family. We are not in debt and have plenty of savings. Although it seems like we will never be able to afford a second bedroom in Brooklyn, we will not starve and, in fact, we can go out to eat quite often.

I sometimes feel as though I have hit the lottery. 

But then, because I like to question things, I begin to contemplate why I feel so lucky. I have a job, husband, dog, a baby on the way and I don’t spend more than I earn. I am a 32-year-old college educated female. Aren’t these things a rite of passage? How has it become that something that was once such a given is now something that makes me feel indebted to the Gods? I don’t think there is any one answer. If I really try to dissect it, it’s because of our confessional nature - you can’t go more than 30 minutes into the Internet without reading about fertility problems, money problems, dating and marriage problems; they are so omnipresent that when you are doing something right, it can make you feel like you are the only one in the world. No one wants to read essays about an ordinary life; we want to scrutinize people and their problems. And now people want to tell us about them, all over the place. 

I don’t know the point of this post. I just wanted to let you all know I’m happy and healthy and know how lucky I am, even when I do complain about it. I hope that everyone can experience such a normal thing as making babies with a nice husband while having a job that doesn’t kill you and pays you a living wage. And I hope we as a society get to the point where we make it so this isn’t too much to ask out of life.